Working through Revisions in Student Writing

Story lead 1: I tip-toed into the kitchen.  It was early Saturday morning. I had a secret plan.

Story lead 2: I wanted to do something special for my mama.  I cooked breakfast for her on Saturday morning.

Which story had you rather read?

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Writing instruction is daunting.  How do we teach students to craft stories that are interesting for others to read?

Students need many examples and lots of opportunities to create if they are to become writers who produce captivating stories.  Today I'm sharing a process that you might find helpful to use with your students. 

Idea generation begins generally; these are often too large for a story.  However, there may be many stories embedded in those big ideas, just as the chart above shows.  For example, I want to write about my trip to the beach.  Listing several events that occurred during the beach trip leads to small moment ideas: catching a fish, building a sand castle, playing mini-golf.

The big idea story is a typical retelling of a weekend trip: we did this, then that, then something else. We want our students to go far beyond this type of storytelling, but it is a starting point.  When students write a story such as this, help them pull out the one sentence that should be the idea for the small moment story. In this case, the writer pulled out the idea of fishing and wrote a story.

There's a lot of set-up to this fishing story.  Does the reader need to plow through this to get to the heart of the tale?  There's also a lot of telling, not much showing; the description is definitely lacking. It is doubtful a reader will be captivated by this story.

What's different in this revision?  For one, the story begins in the middle of the action: "My line tightened."  Conflict is present.  Setting is implied.  An element of suspense lures the reader.  The dialogue between dad and son recreates the moment with the excitement and tension that were present.  The story ends with a surprising, perhaps humorous, point: "Somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico is a shark with my hook in its mouth."

Writers need to work through a process, a series of revisions, to move from idea to story to story-worth-sharing.  Studying examples of this process will help writers develop their storytelling and revision skills.  

Here is another example:

Draft 1 has some good storytelling elements:  dialogue, an element of suspense, conflict, setting, and a point.  Notice the differences in Draft 2.

Between Drafts 2 and 3, the writer fine-tunes several sentences, sharpening description.

In the third draft, the revisions are in place.  How does this story compare with the story idea (the real first draft) and Draft 1?  Is this a more captivating story?  What elements of good storytelling are present?

In a Nutshell

We want student writers to revise their work from "I did this, then that" stories to captivating audiences with in-the-moment experiences.  Provide examples. Model with examples. Create shared examples.

What models are you sharing with your students?